Hello everyone. Since last posting in November of 2011 I would love to say a lot has changed with David. It hasn't.
The good news is that a lot has changed with me. I really committed to my own therapy after the November 2011 separation. I did 12 step with Coda and Cosa and one on one therapy, met with my psychiatrist, and got in with an amazing group of women for a group support class.
Meeting other women dealing with the same thing I was healed so much in me. We were not ugly, lazy, unsexy bitches. We were normal women with jobs and children and addicted husbands or boyfriends.
I worked on my majorly codependent issues and found that most of my relationships improves with me having these tools.
Andrew did not fare so well. He never commuted to a treatment program (his therapist even suggested an intensive treatment at the same facility Tiger Woods was treated at. When David relapsed he didn't just do it for an hour or a day or two. He would do a full bender.
Him getting an iPhone was a huge step back for him. Like an alcoholic always having a bottle of Vodka in his pocket. Just too much temptation and with David having no established treatment it just got worse.
I will fill in the blanks more later but I have signed the separation papers and moved home to my parents house. All of my belongings are in a local storage unit and in one year the absolute divorce will be granted.
There came a moment that I realized I was the only one working on the marriage.
That day I asked for the divorce and started notifying family. They don't know the porn and chat room problems but they saw how we interacted and how he interacted with the family.
It has been hard but there is a freeing feeling.
And since I am back in my home town I don't have to search for new doctors and hair stylists!!
Silver lining.
More soon.
