Limbo Land

We are stuck in a place I am calling Limbo Land.  Nothing is getting better but nothing is getting worse.  We are dealing with trust issues and the funny thing is that it is more David not trusting me than me not trusting David.  He is paraniod about the money I spend.  He is saying this to a woman who dyed her hair back to her natural (or as close to my natural) color so that she didn't have to pay 200 bucks every 3 months for highlights and cuts.  I clip coupons.  I use restaurant.com and groupon for things that we do outside the home.  I am a big fan of Redbox.  My car is almost paid off (my second paid off car and I am only in my early 30's).  Yes, I am the one that you should worry about. 

My psychologist said he may be projecting.  I want to insert that I am so tired of phsych words that I could spit.  He had two years where he was lying to me on a daily basis and during that time he thought there were things I was lying about.  Now that we are being more open and truthful he either thinks I am still lying-which I have NEVER done, or he things that I am going to get even with him by maxing out his credit card that he gave me because I haven't found a job yet.

He also doesn't believe that I am hunting for a job.  Oh yes, I am sitting at home eating bon-bons.  I am not sure what a bon-bon is but that sounds like a hell of a lot more fun than the hours I have spent in staffing offices, online submitting resumes, and phone interviews. 

David's first doctor's visit is next week.  I really hope that some medication can help. 

Trying to save some money I did suggest that if we do go out to eat for Valentine's Day we do it this weekend before places start making their fixed price menus for the holiday. 
David: But if we do something this week when Valentine's comes around you will still want to do something else.
Me: Oh yeah. Like last year when all I asked for was a card since we were saving money for a house and you didn't even get me a card.  Then you didn't even open my card to for a week.
David: (silence)
David: Well we could go this week if you want to.

Wow.  Don't make me force you to try to work on this marriage. 

I took my ring off a couple weeks ago.  Still only eating about 500-800 calories a day.  I tried eating breakfast to hope that would make my appetite return.  The only time it comes back is when I am in a completely different environment. 

Gonna start running on Saturday to try to see if that boosts my mood. 

Tried to think of something positive to end on and I can't think of one.