Why...

There are 3 reasons I do this blog...
1) An anonymous way to vent without having to burden friends or family.  None of the names on this blog are our real names and nothing is specific enough to divulge where we live.
2) As a record of how this journey will play out.
3) So that other partners of SA's won't feel as alone as I did. 

When this problem first happened to us I thought I was a big part of the problem.  The "what if I had" question popped into my brain constantly. 

Then I felt I could control the situation and control David's recover.  Yes, I am a controlling person and that is something I am working hard to overcome.

Now I realize that with the amount of SAA meetings in the area and state I understand that this is not a small problem only happening to us.  This is the alcoholism of our day.  It is shameful, it is hidden and it is not understood.  I doubt I will ever understand. 

That is why I am here.  And that is why I don't delete comments or questions.  Everyone has their own journey.