Today is David's birthday. Yesterday he had therapy and tomorrow he is going to his first SAA meeting. He told me last night that he doesn't want to go but will do it for me. He has always had a huge fear of the unknown and this is another huge unknown. I am working on not hounding him about his recovery. It is hard and last night he had to work some from home on his lap top and even though it is his work laptop and they monitor everything he does and I know he wouldn't risk anything to loose his job it still made me very nervous to see him on a computer. I could tell he saw it in my eyes because he told me he just needed to send a work email and did everything in front of me.
We are getting into a rhythm and it feels better. I was really scared that he would postpone his therapy session yesterday. He didn't tell me if he went and I know he has been very busy at work. Trying not to be a co-addict I refrained from asking him until right before bed. I just asked if he saw his therapist and he said yes. I didn't ask any more and he didn't volunteer anything else.
If he has been honest with me I feel I know everything about his sexual addiction that I need to know. Asking for details just makes him feel more guilty and hurts me more. I can't change the past and reliving it is like scraping off a scab.
Saturday and his SAA meeting will be a big step. I hope to God that he sees the benefit. I know 12 step programs don't work for everyone but I want him to see that other people with this problem are "normal" like he is. As someone else mentioned in his blog I think that problems with SA will explode in the next couple years.
No comments:
Post a Comment