I have read about being co dependent...blah blah blah. Tonight I went crazy nuts to find anything on David's computer from his porn addiction. Found more photos (none since he was discovered) and found archives of his yahoo chats.
I am a bit of a computer nerd and was able to get them all decoded and read all of them. I also emailed a copy of all of them to myself in case we don't make it through this. Between the text messages, the emails, the photos, the registrations on social sites and now true conversations with 18 year olds I think I have a good case for spousal support if I choose to leave or he does something worse.
Some of the chat room messages were worse than I thought. He had told me that usually the girls called him and he never initiated calling but in the more recent texts I can see how he had to start escalating the excitement to get off. He started asking for cams, more pics and if they could call so they could hear each other climax.
Not sure if seeing all of these has made me feel better (no new items on the computer) or worse. Either way I needed to do it at least once just to cleanse this computer. It is mine now and it finally feels like mine. All of the porn and dirt are in one folder and double saved on email but not hiding waiting to jump out at me one day.
The strangest thing is most of the chats where so silly. I will give you one example:
urfriend: so what are you doing teenspot
d: havent been on in a while
d: just logged in for a min to get tired
d: lol
d: what about u?
urfriend: trying to meet a local guy
d: cool cool
d: nothing wrong with that
urfriend: yeah, just looking for a nice guy to get to know, get me out of the house lol
urfriend: dating
d: yea
d: staying in sucks after a while
urfriend: yeah
urfriend: sooo
urfriend: ummm
urfriend: what do you want to talk about
d: hmmmm
d: whatever you want
d: cool with me
urfriend: lol
d: dating, sex, sports, school
d: lol
urfriend: um
urfriend: hm
d: hahaha
urfriend: idk
urfriend: dating
d: cool
Really...even the graphic stuff is repetitive. I guess I feel better because from the chats I saw it was obvious that he wasn't trying to physically meet any of the women or establish any real relationships. But was any of it worth possibly destroying your marriage? Time for bed. Some days I just feel like he is an idiot.
By the way if anyone wants to decode .dat files you find on your computer from Yahoo Messenger all you have to do is go to http://www.archive-decoder.com/ and upload your dat file. It is free and gives you date and time stamps. If anyone needs help on how to find these on a shared computer just let me know. Sometimes being a computer nerd helps.
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