Hindsight 20/20 (I)

Here are a few behaviors that looking back could have given a hint into my husbands addiction.  Being the trusting, loving wife I never gave any of them a second thought but looking back I see that they were all clues to a bigger problem.

-He always wanted to "get rid" of his porn.  One day I would find his collection (small collection) in the trash.
-He would want to reboot his computer to make a clean start.
-All of our computers would crash all the time.
-The settings on the computer were set by him to clear everything everytime it shut down and he would shut down the computer before letting me use it.
-When needing to get urgent work done on the computer he would either do it in front of me or go to a public place like a library.
-Over time I caught him masturbating more and more ...even if he knew I was on my way home he still couldn't stop.
-On the computer all hours of the night with no work related things needing to be done.
-Sex was more aggressive and more like a "fix" for him than anything to do with love.
-He asked me to disable texting on his phone and get rid of internet on it "to save money".  It would have only saved about 20 bucks so I didn't understand the logic. 
-Once he looked at porn on my parents computer while we were house sitting and crashed it. 
-He would have a huge list of things to do when I was at work (I worked weekends) and when I got home none would be accomplished.  Time always slipped away from him.
-He would say things like "I get a lot more done with you around..."
-If I caught him looking at porn online (I didn't think there was anything wrong with it...boys will be boys) I jokingly asked him to show me and he refused and turned off his computer.  So secretive about something I was not upset about.
-He stopped doing romantic foreplay.  Cuddling, touching, kissing deeply, looking in my eyes.  I guess the girls online didn't need that!

Hindsight now I see that all of these things were him trying to deal with his problem on his own.  He thought that just getting rid of the temptation would make him better.  Dvd's gone but the computer is still there.  Computer crashed but texting is still there.  Texting is still there but if I was around the temptation wouldn't win.

There was no way I could have realized the truth about all these things but maybe they will help someone else see some signs and start a conversation about porn or sex addiction with their spouse. 

Enough for my first day on this.  I do feel better getting it down on (cyber) paper.